“Step on the scale,” the nurse said cheerily. “Do I have to?” I silently protested on the inside.
Bundled in necessary winter layers, I tried to tell myself whatever number came up was the result of my seasonal fashion choices. I knew better. I knew that the few recent days of an upset stomach coupled with only feeling like I could eat stomach-friendly carbs such as toast and pancakes would come with a price.
Up from where I’d been for quite a while, I was temporarily satisfied with my rationale… that was until the nurse said “look at that, you’re right were you were the last time you were here two years ago.”
An internal monologue immediately ensued. Where I was two years ago? That isn’t where I wanted to be and isn’t where I’d been recently. But, was this the real me? It was at that moment in a chilly doctor’s office, waiting for a doctor that was running over an hour late that I had an epiphany. I think it will resonate with you too…
My worth is not defined by the number on the scale. It may reflect where I was at a point in time, but it doesn’t define who I am, really.
My worth isn’t defined by my zip code, my age, my job title, or my salary.
My worth isn’t defined by the number of friends I have on Facebook, the number of likes on Instagram, or the number of shares my last post had.
At this time of year, my value isn’t determined by the number of presents under my tree or by how many holiday parties I was or wasn’t invited to.
My worth isn’t determined by the number of holiday cards I’ve received, and I’m not worth any more or less based on how many I did (or truthfully didn’t) manage to send.
As I look ahead to the New Year, the year is not limited by the number of resolutions I managed to keep last year or how many times I started over.
Personal change and growth is available to regardless of my past failures.
I’m not limited by the many challenges of this season, this year, or quite honestly life itself.
I can choose to be resilient, to be a survivor, to dig deep to find strength even if sometimes it means digging really deep.
My worth is not defined by the struggles I have had, whether I’ve accepted them with grace or if I’ve been temporarily unhinged by them because in the end, they do not weaken me but ultimately serve to drive me forward, give me strength, and help me see what I am not.
I am not a number on a scale. I am not what the world says I am.
Instead I am what God says I am. I am His daughter. I am not a victim, I am a survivor. I am saved. I am redeemed.
He loves me when I struggle to even like myself.
He loves me equally when I fail and when I succeed. I know He rejoices when I notice victories along my journey because I see His fingerprints encouraging me.
He gives me His strength when I’m too weak to find any of my own.
He sheds His light into my darkness when the world closes in.
And He loves me when I feel unlovable.
I may not be thrilled with the number on the scale but it helped me see my worth. It helped me reflect on who I am and who I am not. I am not the number on the scale. I am blessed. I am His.
Wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! You are valuable and loved. I hope this week’s post blessed you and helped remind you of your worth.